Humming a cheery tune.
Thinking about my chem asignment.
Doing up my hair for the nth time.
Glancing at my watch every 5 seconds.
Mentally bracing myself up for tomorrow.

Who would have thought that I suffered from one of the biggest disappointments of my life 5 days ago?
Who would have thought that I have known the pain of putting in far more than you have ever before and still failing to achieve what you wanted to, when you had previously achieved the same with barely any efforts? Who would have thought that, just a few hours ago, I was begging my friend to lend me a sasta sa book? Or that, minutes later, I was almost crying over Gravitation? (it's just so hard.)

Funny how quickly my mood changes.

Oh, and as a parting note, a piece of advice: no matter how badly you need something, never beg for it. Demand it.

Nights are my New Days

I wonder why. Or how. But somehow these days I never get any sleep before midnight.
I used to be immensely frightened of the dark. I've learnt to live with it now.
Doing a gignormous (and I mean really gignormous) pile of - ugh -homework, studying, and doing practically everything else that my grades demand.
Of course, I'm still sleeping the same number of hours. It's just that my rest is mostly an afternoon nap that stretches on as a full six - hour slumber.
Yes. Nights are my new days.
The disadvantages are that my 'days' tend to get lonely. My family is asleep, and it feels awkward calling up someone in the middle of the night. (Yes, my friends stay up that late, too.) And I am usually exhausted all day all night all the time. I can't even type properly, I am that tired.
So I'd better leave off. Good day. Or good night. Whatever.

Back On Blogger

I don't know why I did it. Looking back, it seems really silly to have taken a break from blogging, even though practically no one reads my blog. Because it's great to have someplace to vent your feelings, you know. But anyway, now I'm back - regardless of whether anyone cares (or not).
Lavishka IS BACK!!!
Yessir, you heard me. Lavishka is back in action and will write, not for followers, not for money, not for fame, but just for the sake of writing. Because it makes her feel good about herself. Because she loves to.
Writing is my old indulgence, now rediscovered.
And I will get all my feelings out - as usual.
If any of my followers actually read my blog, I hope this becomes a pleasant surprise for them.
Love,
Lavishka

Something everyone should read....

This is impossible.
I've always clung to every phase of my life like a child clings to his mother, and now - now I'm just letting go. I've left middle school, which has to be one of the best phases of my life, and I'm not feeling sentimental. I've just crossed an important milestone, and the road behind me is shrouded in mist.
True, I behaved as though I didn't like middle school. I've said I hated it, I've scorned it, I've speculated ahead of it, but underneath all the pretense, I cared for it. And yet - I don't miss it. There is so little time I can't be as senti as I would have liked to. I'm too busy enjoying my new-found (and short-lived) freedom. After that, I'll be too caught up in the worries of high school to realise what I've missed.
Is that what life has become - a road so busy you can't look over your shoulder to see how far you've come? I hope not.

Just been thinking...

Cough, cough. I turned over and tried - for the millionth time - to grab some sleep. No luck. Cough, cough. My coughing fit just wouldn't stop. I sat up in bed. Cough, cough. It was cold outside. I shivered at the thought. Cough, cough. With a mighty effort, I heaved myself off the bed and made my way to the kitchen for a spoonful of Benadryl. On my way back, I glanced at the wall clock. 3:45 AM. I groaned. It was Republic Day, I was in the March Past at the school celebration - and I hadn't slept all night. I crawled into bed and disappeared into the depths of the warm covers.

* * * * * *

Cough, cough. Turns out, Benadryl didn't work properly. Cough, cough. I changed and made my way to the breakfast table. Cough, cough. I choked on the cereal.
"You can't go to school like this," Mom observed.
"It's Republic Day, Sports Day, attendance is compulsory and I'm in the March Past! As it that weren't reason enough, I'm in the front file on the left side. My absence will certainly be noticed." I protested. Cough, cough.
"I know, but your health comes first. I don't care if they give you a zero on your internal assessment, but I will not have you go to school like this." As if to accentuate her point, I had another coughing fit.
"All right," I gave up.
"Now that you're up, go and practice your math. You have a UT on Monday, you know."
I groaned and made my way to my desk.

* * * * * *

The fog was so dense, you'd think it was very early in the morning. My surroundings were barely visible. I was standing in the private audi of our apartment complex. The place was beautifully decorated with orange and white flowers and green grass. The scent of rose petals wafted in the air. In the centre of the dais was a very tall flagpole. The national flag was still tied up. Very few, very very few residents were gathered here. All the staff were also present, but instead of gathering around they were lined up in an orderly fashion.
I looked at my watch. Ten o'clock sharp. Time for the ceremony to begin.
The flag hoisting ceremony was exceptional. But what bothered me was the fact that very few were present to see it.

* * * * * *

I don't know why, but for some reason, the tiny ceremony was disturbing. It reminded me of just how little we cared about the nation as a whole. I used to consider myself a nationalist, but now I'm not so sure. What can I say, really? I don't know what to even think. I know that if I were in school, I wouldn't have been present there, either. And for some odd reason, I find that disturbing.

Turn it down, folks!

I hope a really good scientist makes a really good invention sometime soon - A HMB. Let me define myself: HMB = Human Mute Button. All humans need one. Seriously. They just go yada-yada-yada for no specific reason. I am blessed my brother isn't like that. Well, he is a l'il talkative, but tell him to keep quiet and he will. What I'm talking about are all those people who just can't shut up. They are omnipresent. Sad, but true. At school, in the malls, on the train - God, I'm FED UP. They chatter incessantly on their cells. Now I don't have a problem with chatter. It just so happens that these people are loud. Really loud. And they apparently don't give a damn to the peace-loving people they share their planet with.
Look, I may sound like I'm cribbing, but I'm not. I can put up with being stuck for hours in traffic. I can put up with messy homes and messier streets. I can put up with stuff that would turn most people off. But I can't stand noise.
I'm not alone in this. There is a scientific reason for this - just read this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noise_pollution#Human_health_effects and you'll know what I'm talking about. But enough. Unfortunately we don't come with mute buttons. But we can turn down our own volumes, right? So please. Turn it down, folks.
Lavishka
PS. You can tell I had a headache when I started writing this.
PPS. Next time we'll have something to do with the movies. Hopefully.

Tension....

I'm in a pensive mood. Lot of upsetting news going around. To begin with, this year we'll have pre-finals besides regular tests. Secondly, our syllabus is lagging behind, so teachers are in a rush-rush mood. Third, I'm worried about this new-fangled CCE system. As if seniors didn't have enough tension to begin with. Now literally everything we do matters. God, I can imagine just how many people are gonna flunk. And whether they show it or not, I bet everyone is just as tensed. Hey, give us a break. Take a lesson from Phunshuk Wangdu. (Awesome movie, entirely representative of us.) Get the tension off us. Please. Please. Please.....